Ang Alamat ni Euan: My RH experience

the moment my now-wife-but-prior-to-that-just-a-girlfriend-and-before-that-just-a-friend-to-have-sex-with told me that she was pregnant, i think i was so poor, I didn’t pay attention. hindi naman sa hindi ako naniwala. Hindi rin naman dahil mababa ang tingin ko sa aking mga semilya, o sa kakayanan ng kanyang matris na magdala ng bata. Busy lang yata ako. Sabi kasi ni Hasmin, ngayong napagku-kwentuhan namin ang mga bagay-bagay, maraming beses na raw niyang nasabi sa akin na delayed siya, or baka buntis siya, or iba pang bagay na ganun din ang ibig sabihin, pero noong huli lang ako nag-react, which is mga two weeks na. Kung siya delayed, ako delayed reaction.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Of course I was happy. My god, at least i know that my peacock is form and function and it doesn’t just make some people happy, it can also make people.

And i was excited. i’ve always welcome something or anything new, and this pregnancy thing is uber brand new that moment.

And I was a little scared. breaking this news would be very easy, but my soon to be wife then doesn’t even know me, and i had this notion that my soon to be dad-in-law despised me. i’ll tell you the details why someday.

And those are just among other things which when mixed up, having a word to say is near impossible. Yet, I had a line, which i actually have no idea why i prepared long ago, that actually came out.

I believe I hugged Hasmin first, and that summarized everything I felt that moment. Then I asked her, “Anong plano mo? Anong gusto mong gawin natin?”

She said, “itutuloy natin.”

That’s what we did. We kept the baby and we now have this wonderful almost three year old boy now. At iyan ang alamat ni Euan.

Hasmin looking at Euan. bagong labas lang si Euan at nasa nursery pa
First time to hold my baby! yey! i’m a dad!

Pero what if Hasmin decided to abort the pregnancy? When that came into my mind, the first thing i would have said was, “okay let’s do it.” Forgive me, but i am a person of a different set of values. But of course, i would ask her to think again. And think of the pros and cons of abortion. And if she decided to abort the baby still, then i’ll say “okay, let’s do it,” once more.

Sa tingin ko kasi, sa bawat pagbubuntis ang may katawang magdadala ng bata ang magdedesisyon sa kanyan gagawin. It will always be the woman who will have the final say on what to do with her body and unborn baby. Because at the end of the day, it is the woman who will have her other foot on the grave, giving birth.

No man should have a final say on what he will not experience. Mula dito, inihahayag ko ang aking matinding pagtutol sa mga pari na nangingialam sa mga issue ng reproduction, dahil tulad ng mga bading, hindi nila kailangan ng sex para dumami. They need not to fuck anyone to procreate. (Though that is debatable among the homosexuals because there’s this thing among them na kapag pumatol ang lalaki sa bading, bading na rin siya at sa mga bakla, that could be procreating).

Ang issue ng family planning ay bagay na dapat pangunahan ng babae, at kung ang babae ay nangangailangan ng tulong, doon lamang maaaring manghimasok ang lalaki. Kung gusto ng babae na pagtulungan nila itong mag-asawa o magsyota, then fine, pero dapat babae pa rin ang magde-desisyon, because gurl, you’ve got the power! Ikaw ang ilaw ng tahanan, so you go having a great plan!

Yey! Very Happy, anu pa bang pagsisisi?

Right now, we’ve decided not to have another baby until Euan is five or older. Para kapag naka-graduate siya ng college, siya na ang magpapaaral sa kapatid niya. and i think that is a very good plan. Kung four years niya kukunin ang college, then good, meron siyang one year na pahinga, pero kung mag-overtime, naku Euan, atsaka na lang tayo mag-usap.

We’ve tried several methods. Una na ang withdrawal, na na-master ko na noon pa man. Kung mabasa man ni Euan ito paglaki niya, huwag kang mag-alala anak, hindi ka bunga ng aksidente. Nagpaalam ako sa mama mo, “Hush, okay lang bang magka-baby tayo?” Sumagot si Mama mo, “Okay lang!” Then Bang, Euan! Mga three years din kaming safe, bago itong discussion then bang, Euan!

Anyway, after Euan, we did some withdrawal ulit, pero medyo mas natakot si Hasmin, so we tried pills. Medyo hiyang si Hasmin sa pills, kaya naman medyo tumaba siya. Though medyo makakalimutin si wifey, (tulad nang nakakalimutan niyang painumin ng gamot si Euan, kahit lagi kong pinapaalala) which is delikado, at medyo dumalang din ang thing namin dahil sa kanyang mga mood swing. So pills, kahit nakakapigil ka ng pagkabuo ng baby, nakakapigil ka rin ng process ng pagbuo ng baby, hindi nama-maximize ang family planning. Kaya withdrawal ulit for a while. Then nag-decide na kaming mag IUD or Intra Uterine Device.

To date, hindi naman kami nagkakaproblema. Noong una, medyo sumasakit lang yung IUD, pero mukhang nasanay na si Hasmin. Medyo ako na lang ang nasasaktan kapag natatamaan, pero ano ba naman ang kaunting sakit. nagtitiis nga para sa ganda, para sa ikaliligaya pa kaya?

Kung itatanong kung may mga pagsisisi ba kami or ako sa pagkakaroon ng baby. Meron naman, pero natatabunan naman iyun ng mga magagadang bagay na dulot ni Euan. totoo yung nakakawala ng pagod ang baby, yung pag-uwi sa work, may sasalubong, gosh, babies are so much better than dogs. But having to much of them (babies) could mean mas matinding pagod pag dating sa bahay.

Baby Euan, 3mos pa lang yata. photo taken by Pards, Roma!

And with this, i would like to thank my now wife, mama Hush, na kahit ang tawag mo pa rin sa akin ay Abet lang, you made the right decision on keeping Euan, because i myself is against abortion, but i can not impose it to you or to anyone.

5 thoughts on “Ang Alamat ni Euan: My RH experience

  1. abet, na-tmi ako pero very well said.

    Ang issue ng family planning ay bagay na dapat pangunahan ng babae, at kung ang babae ay nangangailangan ng tulong, doon lamang maaaring manghimasok ang lalaki.

  2. thanks mga mommies! alam naman nating ganyan talaga. tayo talaga ang dapat nagde-decide. ahahaha!

    sorry miss kiel sa too much info! hindi naman masyadong graphic pa…

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