Realizations #3

I’m too needy on someone who is not that showy on how she really cares.

why am i expecting too much?

just got home from hany’s birthday celebration hosted by her other friends. and i was asked why i expect too much from someone who they thought to be uncaring.

hindi naman siya nagluluto para sa akin. it;s my mom who does the cooking, at kundi naman, ako ang nagluluto, and i am proud to say na masarap naman ang luto ko.ako rin ang naglalaba, maliban na lang sa mga dinadala sa laundry shop. Sa lola madalas si Euan dahil pareho kaming may work, at dahil mas maiksi ang panahon kong wala sa bahay, mas madalas ako ang nagbabantay sa anak namin at sa mga panahong ganun, hindi ko nakakalimutang ibigay ang mahahalagang gamot ng bata.

ngayon, nakakatakot nga that i am asking myself why i cling to much, which i barely realized. napansin lang ng mga kaibigan ko sa pagbabasa ng mga bitter at angst-filled facebook status at shout outs ko.

siguro, nakakapagod lang minsan maging magulang. siguro nag-e-expect lang ako ng kasama. siguro, gusto ko na talagang humiwalay sa parents ko, at magsarili, pero natatakot ako dahil kapag ginawa ko iyun, i have to do all of these alone. dahil kung ngayon pa lang naghahanap na ako ng tunay na katuwang, anu pa kaya kung kami na lang talagang dalawa, at madalas, wala siya.

maybe that’s the reason why men have these affairs with the yayas.

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